Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre, Bolaji Idowu, has advised Christian singles against remaining in relationships without clear intentions, insisting that genuine love should be accompanied by commitment.
Idowu cautioned women against tolerating men who keep them uncertain about the future of their relationships, particularly those who repeatedly respond with “let’s see how it goes” when asked about their intentions.
According to the cleric, a man who genuinely loves a woman should be willing to demonstrate his intentions through commitment rather than leave her guessing about the direction of their relationship.
“When there’s love, there’s commitment,” he said, challenging the practice of maintaining romantic relationships indefinitely without making decisions about their future.
The pastor also criticised men who propose marriage to women but subsequently leave them waiting for years without taking concrete steps towards the wedding.
“You will not use a ring to imprison her and say, ‘I’ve engaged her.’ You’ve engaged her for five years? What should you do with that?” he asked.
Pastor Idowu further argued that uncertainty about a relationship’s future could indicate a lack of genuine commitment, particularly when one partner cannot provide a clear response to questions about the relationship. “When you ask someone, ‘What are we doing?’ and they say, ‘I’m not sure,’ they don’t love you. Why? Anywhere there is love, there’s what? Commitment,” he stated.
He also questioned the expression “let’s see how it goes”, challenging singles to consider what such arrangements are expected to lead to if neither partner is prepared to define the relationship. The cleric blamed the willingness of some women to tolerate prolonged uncertainty for enabling men to maintain relationships without making firm commitments.
He had previously wrote on X, formerly Twitter, that singles should not simply go with the flow when a partner says, “Let’s see how it goes.” He advised couples to discuss their intentions after three months of dating to establish whether they share similar expectations for the relationship.
The cleric also identified one-sided relationships and situations in which partners feel unable to be themselves as other potential warning signs. In June 2024, Idowu also criticised men who date multiple women simultaneously while avoiding clear definitions of their relationships with them.
The pastor, who leads Harvesters International Christian Centre, has frequently addressed dating, courtship and marriage in his teachings to Christian singles. His latest remarks highlight the importance of honest communication, clearly expressed intentions and mutual commitment in romantic relationships.